panic

ugh! not a word i like at all. you know that word and the feeling it brings with it? your stomach turns into a knot, your heart pounds, something bad has just happened and it usually carries a large dose of uncertainty? well, thankfully i've only had a handful of times when i felt this feeling of panic. one being a realestate transaction gone bad and a very angry client's phone call with it. another being a brief moment in time when i could not see my 18month old son in dillards and my heart began to beat out of my chest. oh, and there's the time my son grabbed a knife out of the dishwasher and took off running, not looking where he was going, me screaming for him to stop, and wham, right into the armoir....luckily no injury occurred except for the minor heart attack i suffered. but really, this post is about the most recent situation. this one was just the other day. ry and i were doing some shopping at winco. we went through the line, bagged our groceries, got in the car, and made our way home. about a mile down the road..if that, i realized i did not have my purse. the strang thing about it was i did not even remember using it at the register. i had the cash in my pocket so i never dug into my purse. at least i thought. before i knew it i'd ripped a uturn and headed back. i thought for sure it'd been snagged when i wasn't looking. "oh no! how could this happen. please lord no! please come through. please let it be in the store. please let it be in my cart." i pulled around the corner to see if my cart was still in the same place. it was, but no purse. i grabbed ry and headed for the register where we checked out. i politely, but firmly interrupted the cashier. with a regretful, half guilty look i asked, "did i happen to leave a black purse here?" "this one?" she asked as she pulled it out from under the counter. of course she said this with a look that said a million words like "moron, how could you be so thoughtless." i know. i was wondering the same thing. i mean my purse! the one with my life in it???? well it happened, but it also happens that i have a very understanding, compassionate God who very often rescues me out of such similar situations. i'm scatter brained. what can i say? well, need less to say, ry and i took the opportunity to praise jesus...out loud...all the way to the car.