time

" time is uninhibited. it takes and gives w/no conviction or awareness of those it impacts. the idea of never going back, loosing more of my time on earth w/every breath i breathe is exasperating. does it motivate me to strive for excellence in that next moment? it could be my last. could i bare to kno that i left ashamed of my behavior? it almost feels as though i'm choking in the heaviness of this realization. some times i feel lifes' reason and questions leave no respectful, absolute answers. yet in my moment of doubt, i'm reminded gently by that great eye in the sky that He sees what is to come, minute by minute, in this life and beyond. He is and I am not. in this truth i will lighten my burden at his feet and rejoice in my moments with a goal of making it pleasant for everyone in my path. for these moments are mine and no one elses. yet i understand that what i do with them will spill over in ways i could never imagine and some that i will never know. so the only absolute i have is His providence, sovereignty, and provision. Of nothing else can i gain the strenght i need to not loose focus, but dwell in my moments with everything i have."
i wrote this in college. i think i understood god so much better back then. sometime i feel i need to get back to that place....no i take that back, i need to move forward toward it. i'm always striving to discover something new & extraordinary about God. i can say i've learned in this new season of love through the birth of my son, a new level of love. maybe i have a glimpse of god's love for his son and for his creation. one thing i do know?...that he wants our love in return, whether through poetry, praise, prayer, song, or service. what ever creative means we have is all he asks. and because time ticks away so quickly, every moment takes on a new value and need, that we love him in that moment in whatever way we can.